My cousin works at the only movie theater in a 25-mile radius.
I'll use C for him, FC for Friendly Customers, S1 + S2 for Security, P for Police, THE for Thinks He's Everything, and KSC for Kinda Shitty Customer.
It was the time when all movies were currently showing just about midway through. FC goes to get a soda refill.
FC: Another Sprite, please.
C: (goes to fill it up) Only 75 cents since that's your second refill. Good movie?
(THE gets his tickets checked by S1, who reminds him that it's halfway through. THE doesn't really care.)
FC: It's awesome! My favorite part so far is when-
C: Please don't spoil it; I was planning on seeing it after my shift.
(KSC walks up to get more nachos): Oh, come on.
You've already seen previews, so why do you need useless information? (starts to go on a rant about the movie, when all of a sudden they hear a very loud scream)
THE: THIS IS A VIOLATION OF MY RIGHTS! SO WHAT IF I WALKED IN LATE, I DESERVE TO SEE THE WHOLE MOVIE! REWIND TO THE BEGINNING OR I'M PRESSING CHARGES! (movie pauses)
S2: Sorry, we can't do that. As compensation we can give you a free value meal.
THE: FUCK IT! I'M CALLING 911! (To his surprise, cops actually enter.)
P: Where's the idiot?
S2: Right over here.
THE: THEY STARTED THE MOVIE BEFORE I ENTERED THE THEATER! I DEMAND A REFUND AND THE THEATER SHUT DOWN!
P: Actually, I'm gonna arrest you for disorderly conduct.
THE: LAWSUIT! FORECLOSURE! BANKRUPTCY!
KSC: Wow. I guess I'm not much of an asshole I thought I was.