I felt my sanity trickle away in that empty, black box. The meals were the only things that marked passing time, and my thoughts were the only way to fill it.
They echoed in my head, trying to fight against the madness.
*You knew, one day, you were going to wind up dead, so just be glad you aren't. You’re just lucky they wanted a prisoner, and luckier they didn’t botch it.
Don't think about how they botched it, how they botched him, how there should be two people in here praying for a rescue.*
*You’ve got to hang on, if for nothing else, for Daisy. For her child.
Don’t think about how you probably missed its birth by now, how you don’t even know if its a boy or girl, how Daisy thinks you're dead and her child is fatherless.
Just know that if you make it out, she won’t be alone.*
*You have to keep living, because you can still do something. They damaged almost every bit of you, but they didn’t hurt your brain.
Don’t think of how you can’t feel your legs, of the tingling pain in your back, of the complete darkness in front of you.
Think of the reason you were willing to sacrifice your body in the first place. Don't think of how it probably never helped anyone.*
*Don’t try to fight back. They’ll just kill you. You can't do anything with useless legs and empty eyes.*
*Don’t think about how it wouldn't matter if they killed you.*
*Don’t think about how you already said goodbye to Daisy, how she thinks you're dead. Don’t think about how all the other people you cared about were killed by your captors.*
How could I keep from thinking when there was nothing else to occupy my mind?
It was the only think I had left.
If all I had left were thoughts, why would the outside world be any different?
*Remember that you’re lucky to be alive.*
*Remember your wife.*
*Remember your baby.*
*Remember the dead.*
*Remember your mission.*
*Hope that one day you can forget.*