It was a crudely drawn bird, but impressive for his age. It sat in a perch in a cage, its head bowed. A single tear slid down its cheek.
Outside the cage a menacing cat slinked, its fur a brilliant shock of red- just like my hair. The page was stained with tears. I turned it over.
*Sometimes I wish Mommy were alive.*
*If she was alive, than maybe Daddy would love me.*
*I whish Daddy loved me.*
*I whish for lots of things. I want to go to skool, but Daddy says I’m too dumb for regyoolar skool. Maybee he’s right, tho. But I kno I can’t make freinds if I don’t go. I whish for freinds.
Daddy says I can’t leave the hous becuz he doe’snt want too be seen with me. He says Im an ambarrassmant. I watsch uther kids playing outseid. Theyr hapee, and Im not.*
*I see the nayboor lady throo my window. I see her pet bird in the cage. Thats why I drew the bird. I am the bird. My hous is the cage. Daddy is the cat, becuz cats hate birds.
Just like how Daddy hates me. But even the lady’s bird gets to leaf the cage sometims. I don’t get to leaf at all. Daddy would make me stay insied, like a cat scareing a bird.
The bird wont leave the cage if its scared. I wont leave, becuz Daddy is the cat and hemakes me stay.*
*Daddy hurts me a lot of tims. He hates me, and says I deserv it. Maybee he’s rite, tho. He sayd I was a murdirir. He sayd I killed Mommy, and thats why I dont get too see her.
Anytim I ask to leave, he says no. He says no and hurts me agin.*
*I whish for freinds.*
*I whish I culd go too skool.*
*I whish for lots of things, but I guess I dont deserv them, becuz I killed Mommy. Im sad all the tim and I hurt all the tim becuz of Daddy.
Maybee I can die like Mommy did, and I will be abull too fly out of the cage. Far far away too wear Mommy is. Than I can tell her Im sorry.*
My son ran away, and I don't think he'll be coming back. Ever again. I wish he would come back, and then I could tell him how sorry I am. Grant all of his wishes. Undo everything I ever did.
I'm such an idiot.
I'm such an idiot.
Even if I could apologize to him, it's like what I've yelled at him so many times as he begged for my forgiveness. "'I'm sorry' is just a phrase. It can't fix anything.
It can't take back all the damage..."
All the damage I did.