Never in my life would I have guess you’d be the 10:00 pm restricted call buzzing on my cellphone. You were the last one I would have guessed.
You always said you didn’t have an ego and all, or maybe now you just found it light enough to push out of the way. The voice that once made me fly has become knives.
Your voice still sends electric shock waves of pain and distress through my entire body. Listening to your shaky voice was like grabbing the stem of a thorned rose.
You know you should be careful, but the beauty of the rose is entrancing. Where do you get the nerve to expect my love and attention. YOU DONT.
Last time that slithering snake got to me was when your hands were playing my ribcage like piano keys in the darkened parking lot of the local grocery store. My own personal Mozart.
But, yours was a symphony with a rather dark undertone. Last time the snake spoke sweet nothings your lips slid to mine like that was where they were meant to be there.
There is no doubt in my mind that if I wouldn’t have stopped you that you would have cheated on your fiancé completely and truly with me.
No matter how many times the snake sheds his skin he is still a snake. I promised that I wouldn’t let you in anymore.
Truth is I may have listened to you hyperventilate and choke on your words through the telephone. But, that means nothing.
We both figured out that feelings mean nothing in our relationship and are as disposable as any normal crumpled piece of paper.
You will not be aloud back into my life as easy as all the rest of the times. Your pain and anger you have sparked has made me find my worth in this world.
I deserve the kind of love in this world that is reciprocated. “Reciprocated love" a word that a sensitive, overly loving girl like myself tends to forget every now and again.
This is my game now. I am in control. I am not the sensitive little girl who was stuck on the fake idea of waiting around for you to realize I am the one.
I’m not the girl who wanted the privilege of being hurt by you. Your attempts to strum my heart strings are out of tune. I am strong with a new found worth.
You are not going to slither your way back into my heart. My loving heart is not a hiding whole for your destructive grenade like actions.
You know what you are capable of destructing and I am not going to be a casualty. My darling you will have an open ear to cry to, but no one to come crawling back too. -N