It has been called to our attention that you do not fit in.
You have been aware of this inadequacy for some time, and yet you continue to exist alongside other entities in your category while willfully ignoring all inner quality controls (i.e.
, feelings) that reveal your substandard functioning as a: *HUMAN.*
We have monitored the log of your mental processes and found:
* Esteem Deficiencies (e.g., “Why can’t I get it together?”)
* Self-Criticisms (e.g., “What’s wrong with me?”)
* Envy (e.g., “Why do some people have a better grasp on life?”)
**Verdict:** Despite correctly observing your own defective status, you avoid the obvious truth and remain in violation.
Thus, we have selectively inserted this *Official Notice* into your reality using a medium of your preference, and as you have now read these words, notice is considered served.
Our representatives will arrive at your location shortly. You will be removed and your existence erased. We advise you not to struggle.