My boyfriend is a psychology major. We’ve been happily together for three years, but ever since he found out about my list of fears, he’s been pushing me to address them.
They’re small things, things that probably won’t happen to me, so he feels that they’re something I can overcome. He was right about the first few – heights, being in darkness, and snakes.
He took me to a pet store, where they let me hold a boa constrictor - it took a few tries, but he said that repetition was key. I can’t remember why I didn’t like them anymore.
Now, though, we’re getting to the more serious ones. Being impaled. Being cut in half. Being buried alive.
My boyfriend says that these things can be addressed safely in ways that won’t cause any harm to me.
That they won’t be so bad if I can face the fear and find out just what it is that bothers me.
He says that if I can view the fear from a distance, be just close enough that I can analyze it but not be too involved, things will work out - and that I shouldn't face it alone.
I made friends with the girl I met at the bar tonight – we made polite conversation and talked about her classes and her problems with her family. She asked me to give her a ride home.
Now I just have to pick the fear I want her to help me face. I think I’m just close enough to her to make this work.
And if not, repetition is key.