I never expected a message like this from you, nor did I expect to hear from you again.
You made it clear once you had no romantic feelings for me, so to read this now leaves me confused for more than one reason.
You know how I felt about you once. There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you. All you would have had to do was ask and I would have stopped my world just to be a part of yours.
Back then that was too much for you, and you said no to my declarations of love. What changed, Sam?
I now understand the pain you went through when you wrote to me before and told me we could never be. I know now that wasn’t easy and not something you enjoyed.
You said the last thing you wanted to do was hurt me, and now I believe you.
That’s why this next part is so difficult.
You had an open window to my heart, one you could climb in without invitation, without fear and without risk of trespass.
You were welcome there, and I was content to let you reside in its depths forever.
That window is closed now.
We seem to have one thing in common—lousy timing. Eleven years ago had you written me this I would have taken a plane, bus, car, walked on foot, whatever I had to do just to get to you.
I can’t say that anymore. I owe you the truth, in honor of every moment that I once loved you.
I met my husband back in 2007. It didn’t take long for us to find we had everything in common, and we’ve been together ever since that day.
I’ve pledged myself to him today and every day until death, and because of that there is no possible future with you. I’m sorry, Sam. I know this hurts.
I wish I didn’t have to hurt you, but as I said, you deserve the truth.
Yet part of me still can’t let you go. The years spent apart from you have been agony. I know we can’t be lovers, but my heart aches for the friendship we used to have. I still ache for you.