Dear diary, I'd like to write about today,
And how I sent this whiny hipster bitch packing straight away!
I'll make this battle quick, seal your face with a kick,
Like the psycho killer. Come at me, Misery Chick!
You're a smug, obnoxious Mary–Sue,
And I'd rather share my quarters with Courtney than you!
Moping and doping, that's how all your time is spent.
And unlike you, I at least kissed
You come from MTV? Your reputation must be poor,
When you share your station with Jersey–Fucking–Shore!
So run home, Diarrhea, go make out with Jane,
Before I take this shovel to your spine and break you like Bane!
I've got to be direct, Gwen: you're about to get smoked.
Your whole life, your whole world is just a sick, sad joke.
You think I still care the slightest bit about Trent?
Get with the times, and while you're at it, get bent.
I'm a philosopher, you're a pathetic trash–talker.
Need to know why I'm brilliant? Just ask Doug Walker.
Read the rest via the link in the description!