We arrived at the entrance. The big friendly sign read “Miss E’s Park for **KIDS**”. Underneath it was another sign with a list of rules:
1. No dogs allowed
2. All children must be supervised
3. Please clean up after yourselves
4. Do not take pictures
5. Park hours are 8am – 9pm. If you are not out by 9pm we are not responsible for what might happen to you
6. No adults shall enter the park after 9pm. If they do, they must play by the rules.
7. Children are advised not to enter the park after 9pm, but if by chance they do, a minor consequence will be delivered at an agreed upon time.
If they enter with an adult, the adult still has to play by the rules, but the child does not.
My twin brother Callahan had the brilliant idea to break in after 9pm as a way to celebrate our 18th birthday.
We are the last of our friends to turn 18, so we thought we’d all find out together what rule number 6 *really* meant.
Callahan cut a hole in the fence and we climbed through it one at a time. After we had all made it through we immediately heard a booming voice.
It directed us into the center of the park where we were greeted with another sign. One I had never seen before in my many visits as a kid.
The following rules now apply, and will apply until there is only **ONE** left standing:
1. You must play the games to win, but there’s a twist. All games have been altered. After all, they are kids games, and you are **NOT** kids.
“Laser Tag” will leave real burns
The “Floor is Lava” course has been converted to real lava
“Cowboys and Indians” features authentic, time period weapons
The “Stuck in the Mud” arena is now filled with quicksand
The play "Doctor” station has been equipped with actual medical equipment
You MUST do what Simon Says
Avoid the ghost in the graveyard, he’s not as funny as you once thought
Mr. Fox and Mr. Wolf are both hungry, and to them you’ll look like real chickens
The “Werewolf” is real. Don’t try to find him
2. The fence has been electrified, escape is not an option
3. You cannot simply wait for daybreak because daybreak will not come
4. The payphones are now bananas and will NOT contact anyone *outside* of the park
5. Do not try to use your cellphone. It will immediately eliminate you from the competition in a way you can’t possibly imagine.
6. The “Room of Dolls” is alive
7. “Toilet Monsters” do exist, so hiding in the restrooms is not your best bet
8. Please clean up after yourselves, remember, this is a place for kids. We want them to *want* to come back.
9. Have fun!!