She has this way of looking at you - just looking, nothing else - and making you feel guilty about your whole life. She can just cast her gaze and boom. Done.
You feel like everything and anything is your fault.
I love her, but I've never known how to get past that look.
She just feels everything so deeply. I don't know how to do that. For some reason or another I'm just detached from so much. I feel for these characters I'm given, but that's about it.
I feel like they're people, but they're people without a voice. They have so much to say and so much to give but they don't have anything unless I offer them a way to say what needs to be said.
They're so much stronger than I am in every way, it's ridiculous. I find them so fascinating, I have to put my best effort into them.
Maybe it's just because I find them so much more interesting than myself - or maybe because I can focus on them instead of the shit inside my head. It's all worthless anyway.
I just feel like I'm never enough for myself, and if I am then I'm not for anyone else.
I'm one of those early 2000's music videos where it's all dark and misunderstood, and there's a little girl crying for something or someone to save her.
Only I'm happy with the dark and misunderstood - I don't want to be saved from my own head.
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