Have you ever lied to someone you love? For your own selfish reasons of course.
You wanted to end it because at that moment, you were only thinking about yourself and foolishly disregarding the other.
At the time, somehow you are convinced over the fact that you don't love the other as much as you know you did.
Fact is, you did, you still do but the reality of it is, you are trying to resist the feeling. Then you start asking why.
Why you wanted to resist so much when you basically accepted it in the first place.
It then becomes a confusing battle between freely wanting and accepting the feeling to succumbing to what people or society will think of it.
Don't get me wrong though, I usually couldn't care less about the judgment of others but when it comes down between love and life goals, I can't resist the tempting desire of the court,
the familiar sounds of crowds and cheers and the almost mystic dribbling of the round orb known as basketball.
With any type of relationships or petty romances, it can only go so far before I know I have to leave.
This was just one of those instances where being indifferent towards my encounters with people would really help,
it saves me the trouble of dealing with another person's emotion rather than my own since there is nothing left to look forward to if I do at some point decide America is too rough for
a guy growing up in simple Kanagawa. However, that is not the case.
It would be different if it was just a momentary consolation for the lonely, but I can tell you right now that it is anything but.
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