I'm not even Mad, I'm just impressed....
I'm not even Mad, I'm just impressed.... stories
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Back in high school I worked at a movie theater. One of the jobs there was to be an usher and make sure that the individual theaters were not only clean but people had found their seats, weren't recording the movies on the screen, snogging,
By FioryWolf https://www.reddit.com/r/...

I'm not even Mad, I'm just impressed....

by FioryWolf

Back in high school I worked at a movie theater.

One of the jobs there was to be an usher and make sure that the individual theaters were not only clean but people had found their seats, weren't recording the movies on the screen, snogging,

being obnoxious what have you.

I can't tell you how many times I caught a couple in the act of making out in the back of the movie theater.

And every time we caught them, if we caught them a second time (funny enough, rarely happened) they would be escorted out of the movie.

This wasn't something I was proud of doing, and it certainly didn't earn me "Best Movie Theater Person Evar" of the month, but it was part of the job so like a good monkey I did it.

I have to say I have only kicked 2 couples out of their movies before. Most everyone else just waits until after the movie and finds a quiet I-don't-Care-Where place to do their funny business.

This one night, I'm walking the halls, it's a weeknight so it's not super busy, and I enter one of the four largest theater shows.

It's playing the newest blockbuster, and at the time I want to say it was Star Wars 1. Things are pretty quiet. I can count only 20 people in their seats. Being an usher was easy.

A lot of the time we'd just walk to the end of the hallway, glance at the audience, and then watch the movie for about 5-10 minutes before walking out.

I notice this time that there's mostly middle age people and a couple of young kids about my age in the audience. The younger kids are sitting up in the 4th row from the front.

I know because right behind their seats is a large aisle for handicapped wheelchairs to go through and sit.

I notice that there's a couple amongst the kids, mostly cause they were not paying attention to the movie at all.

Politely I walk over, tap the chair next to them and ask them to cut it out or take it outside.

They seem embarrassed but otherwise quick to go back to the movie, the girl eating popcorn out of the guy's lap.

I decide that another movie theater needs my attention afterwards and I take a brief stroll out and into another theater.

I'm gone maybe 10 minutes and since I actually was interested in Star Wars, I head back to my couple's theater.

They're Gone. No joke. So just to make sure I walk by with my little flashlight and see that the popcorn is still in their seat.

Whatever, not a big deal I'll clean that up later, at least it's not all over the floor. So I walk back out.

After another 10-15mins, the credits start rolling and I get ready to empty the Star Wars theater.

There's a couple other ushers here now that will help with cleanup, even though I'm sure I can do it on my own as there were hardly anyone in the theater to begin with.

As people are filing out, throwing their garbage away, I notice our lovely couple.

They must have noticed my thoroughly confused look on my face at seeing them, because they just burst into a giggling fit and made their escape all the more quickly.

After their gone, I walk in to where they were sitting, and with the lights up it's much easier to see their mess.

Under the seat is a box of Trojan condoms and I'm not even kidding, ALL of them had been used. All open, and sticky and gross.

What gets me, is to this day I have no idea how they were able to have sex in the theater, that many times, without anyone complaining about noise or obstruction of view,

and while only getting caught making out once.

There's not exactly a lot of room between the different rows of seats, and lets be honest, the floor was sticky before they got there so it's not the most romantic of spots to be doing the nasty.

...

TL;DR?= Teens mysteriously have sex multiple times in a theater, no idea how they did it.

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