You reach the light, but you leave me behind. Looking out from the darkness I can see you replace me. Swiftly, effortlessly.
I'm just the guide, the constant character no one really cares about, the wall to lean against, but I'm never anything else.
I'm striving to be with you. You're striving to get away from me.
However you still want my support, without giving anything in return.
I called you early in the morning today because I just needed to hear your voice. It made you upset, but it didn't cross your mind that for the past year I've been surviving on 3 hours of sleep every night to be able to give you my unconditional love and support.
Today you compared me to him. The other guy. God. It turns out I'm not fun, or attractive or ambitious enough. It turns out I'm not passionate enough.
You have successfully broken me. On so many levels. You have made me feel ashamed of myself, angry at myself. You have made me feel useless, worthless, meaningless, lifeless.
You have exploited every single one of my weaknesses. I have to applaud you, you have been very systematic about it. Pulling me in to tell me that you will never leave, only to turn around the next day and take it all away was a perfect move. It crippled me. It shattered me. It almost killed me.
Yet, I'm still crawling after you, ready to get back with you within the blink of an eye. That is hope, my love. One thing you haven't taken from me yet. However the truth is that deep down I'm just waiting for the killshot, for you to put me out of my misery, before I do it myself.