I couldn't get the words out of my head. They echoed in my ears, they dug into my sanity like claws. I was weak and trembling. It was difficult to even steer the vehicle.
I could hear the sirens, but they sounded distant. The road was unclear, almost hazy. I kept seeing some of our happiest memories together in the back of my head.
Being held in the air as a child, the wind howling against my face.
My first day at school, being so nervous and shy.
Fishing at the local lake and catching something.
I shook my head to clear my mind. I had to stay focused. Maybe this wasn't what I thought.
Maybe they were just fireworks, like that time we went to see a firework display.
Maybe they just burst a tire, like when I helped fix the car and left one of the tools on the ground.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't keep the memories from confronting me.
My first serious relationship and how proud they were.
My first serious breakup and having them to console me.
My first job.
My second job, after the first one fell through.
Discussing our problems.
Mowing the lawn.
I couldn't help finding joy in even the most mundane of activities. I couldn't stop thinking of excuses.
I guess I just wanted a shred of hope to cling to.
The closer I got, the harder it was to focus. Knowing that in less than a minute, my life would be forever different. It was impossible to ignore.
All I could do was try to find some essence of comfort from the past.
I pulled up outside and got out of my car. I pushed past some officers and walked into my house. I looked into the eyes of my parents. My hands shaking, I held the button on my radio.
"It's a one-eight-seven. Two casualties."
EDIT: Fixed formatting