I was born, it was October, and quite frankly looking back on it, it was probably not my mothers best idea, at 22 and unmarried she had no means to take care of me, but she did the best she could,
considering her circumstances. She bartended at night while I slept so she could spend her days with me while my coke addicted father squandered basically all of our savings on his next fix.
When I turned about four ish my mother and father divorced, after which my mother married a Brazilian dude whom we shall call Mickey (he had big ears).
Mickey had a temper and an odd infatuation with me, always saying shit like, “Give Papi a kiss or you’re not my child.” which really fucks up a four year old, but whatever.
After some time with him, she catches him cheating on her so she just accepts a date with the first guy to ask her out, my current stepdad Leprechaun (he’s Irish).
Mickey gets deported before he signs the divorce papers so technically he and my mother are still married.
However thats not the point, so Leprechaun and my mother get together and I’m like five ish maybe, and about eleven years later they are still together.
Now if i had to call anyone self obsessed and Metrosexual it would be this guy, he takes about an hour to get ready for anything and his face creams take up more than half of our cabinet space.
Not to mention he’s a total health freak so everything is about being active and eating right.
All throughout this I’ve been nothing but a quiet bookish child who’d rather curl up with a good book than even think about physical activity.
However he has taken care of us and generally keeps us happy. I can’t complain, he’s a cool guy and I like him well enough when he isn’t being a whiny toddler.
That pretty much fills you in on all the important people in my family, I’ll get into my friends (snakes) tomorrow.~G