I work in an actual theatre not a cinema and currently Billy Elliot is 4 weeks in to its 6 week run.
I have seen this show 14 times at this point and the next showing that was about to begin would be my 15th viewing on a double shift. So I was already not excited to be working.
So before the show starts I was talking to one of the other ushers about what the fire codes are while we were standing on the stairs.
In case of a fire we have a colour coded system which tells us ushers what doors we should open and what doors remain closed.
It's a pretty big deal to know them since opening the wrong doors can send people straight into the path of a fire if one were to occur.
We're up in the circle, with her on level 2 and me on level 3. I walked down to meet her when she was halfway up the stairs and we stood there when I was reminding her of what the codes were.
Of course more audience members come in and I have to go back and show them where their seats are, meaning I only got halfway through the fire codes.
I finish dealing with the customers, come back and finish explaining the fire codes to her and then make my way back to the top of the stairs.
A few minutes later the house lights go down and the show starts. I can see some people are still on their phones.
Now we have a really strict phone policy in place for this show, since their are child actors we absolutely can't allow any photos or filming of the show to occur.
Usually I just have to say child protection laws and people are happy to comply.
Aside from that, having a phone out while the lights are down is just distracting to the other audience members and to the cast if the screen is bright enough.
But at the start of the show I'm more lenient since people tend to still be putting them on silent.
She takes a little too long so I flash the torch at her and she puts it away, alls well that ends well I should be heading back to my seat, without a bother.
Until I felt someone tap me on the back and I turn around to this woman. Now the phrase "face like a smacked bottom" doesn't even begin to describe this woman.
Bear in mind that the show has started by this point and she is talking at full volume, not even whispering.
She looks at me and goes "You know it's very annoying that you keep walking up and down the stairs". So she was also including me walking up and down the stairs before the show even starts.
You know when many people are walking up and down the stairs.
I remained calm and tried to explain to her "I'm sorry ma'am but I have to make sure people aren't using their phones due to child protection laws".
And as I am speaking, she holds her hand up to cut me off and dismisses me while I am speaking to her.
She gave me a look like I wasn't even worth deigning with her presence let alone actually talking to then folds her arms and watches the show.
And I had to bite my tongue and go back up to my seat as if I was the one in the wrong.
I sat glaring at the back of her head for ten minutes praying that I would get latecomers so I would have to walk down the stairs again.
Alas the audience was all very well behaved apart from that cow.