exhaustion. sleep deprecation. we do this to ourselves. high school kids. stay up til midnight just to arise to the darkness of 6 am. as the sun has not yet shone and the moon has not yet cowarded away, we are awake. awoken from our dreary 6 hour sleep. filled with insomnia and nightmares. awakening at every creak of the house. every dream of distaste. but here we are.
6:05 is filled with regret. regret of “i shouldn’t have watched that netflix show” or “i shouldn’t have left that project until last minute”. we regret everything we’ve done to come to this point. this point filled with a tired mind and sore eyes.
as 7:02 approaches, we've washed away yesterday. exhaustion hits us like a train as we start our day of school for six unfocused and dreary hours. but at least everyone else feels it too. we are comforted by " I stayed up until 2 am finishing homework" and we feel like we fit in. high school, the place where exhaustion is cool.
we come home with more homework. to us, procrastination is the key to exhaustion. so as we spend countless hours doing anything but our priorities, we start our work at 10: 24 and work away until 11:59. this is when the realization kicks in.
we realize this is just our reality. every day the same thing since we are not willing to change. so as we close our eyes at 12:13, we realize our sleep deprivation and exhaustion. but we always cast it away as an insignificant reality to the life of a high school kid. so we just sleep. and when we wake in the morning, we do it all again.