I wake up cold and shaky with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I always have weird 'dreams' like that. It hurts my head.
I get up and check my phone to see that it's only 4am, which would explain the darkness outside. I go downstairs regardless, figuring I won't get back to sleep anyway.
My sleep cycle is so fucked up.
I take my medication and down a glass of cold water. It's supposed to make me feel better, but it doesn't. I don't think any medication in the world could do that.
The doctors don't understand that though, nobody does.
I can't even describe how it feels to not remember. It's as if I was drunk an entire year, then woke up to not remember anything. I don't remember what I did, the things I saw and said.
I can't remember what I learnt at school or who I hung around with. The only friend I remember is Cat, but that's only because I knew her before we moved to Manchester.
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