I haven’t truly been present on this blog in a long time. Sure there have been posts here and there in the past couple years, but so much has changed in the world and with me.
I don’t feel there needs to be little people like me fighting the good fight for body image anymore, there are so many huge leaders that are paving the way.
It has been such a relief watching companies accept and cast women of all sizes in campaigns. Took them long enough.But to be completely honest, I got burnt out.
The fashion industry was where I saw myself as early as I can remember. So many people told me it was silly, and not a career.
So, I fought for it, many times, worked my ass off to get to fashion week to watch, dreamt about having my own runway shows, tried to climb ladders and be whoever they wanted me to be.
And well, it didn’t work.I landed on my face one too many times. Failures got the best of me, and I ended up working at Wendy’s. No offense, Wendy’s, ILY.
This was the lowest I have ever been mentally.
I wanted so much to be accepted, admired, and here I was flipping burgers (actually they made me take orders because I was too nice…) Long story short, I eventually stumbled upon wedding photography.
It seemed attainable, I already took photos, went to school for marketing and photography, and I threw myself completely into this industry.
Finding out everything I could on how to succeed, photographed as many people as possible to get my portfolio out there and became intoxicated about the potential of being an entrepreneur.
It worked. People liked my story, they liked that I took a chance with photography and threw all of myself into it. I loved it. I loved them.
I was able to quit Wendy’s and photograph amazing people. I became obsessed with the industry, weddings, other photographers, etc.
Willing to do anything to be the best, worked my ass off to get into gallery shows, dreamt about having my work win awards, and tried to climb ladders and be whoever they wanted me to be.
Sound familiar?I was never in a healthy relationship with my passions. I was willing to change myself, to be whoever I needed to be, to do whatever to be the best.
Looking back now it was so obvious, but honestly I am just working this out now. I still photograph weddings, but I am not obsessed with the industry.
People are constantly comparing themselves, hating on others, and complaining about their clients. All of which are not who I am, or who I ever want to be.
I love how lost I get in a wedding, how I feel like a part of the family, and documenting all of the love surrounding the day is truly the best job.Moral of the story? Be your best self.
Go with your gut. Listen to your heart. All of that crap is true. 💪🏽Thoughts? Shoot me an e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org <3