My mind roars NO! While my body pleas YES! Terror, panic. Hunger, pain. Frozen with anxiety, body aching to reach out. Thoughts holding me back, stomach lurching forward.
Just one more hour, NO I NEED IT RIGHT NOW. The voice chastises me, the pain eggs me on.
"You're so weak," "I fucking need it now!" Whispered insults become screaming rants, low grumbles becomes a pit of pain.
I am weak, I crumble. I reach out and take a small bite of apple, tears rolling down my face. One bite, but the battle is lost.
The hunger wins today, and the voice inside me head won't ever let me forget.