Empty Words Here we are yet again. Writing. Typing.
Empty Words Here we are yet again. Writing. Typing. Dripping our souls with the poison of language.
Empty Words Here we are yet again. Writing. Typing. Dripping our souls with the poison of language. How many times have we been here?
How many times have tried reaching out in this expanse?
Reaching out to you.
You, my dear friend who I see everyday yet has never even laid eyes on me.
You, who lived in so vividly in my thoughts yet has never once even perceived me.
You who whispered sweet nothings in my ear,
You who whispered sweet nothings in my ear, telling how much I matter,
You who whispered sweet nothings in my ear, telling how much I matter, telling how much you want to help me,
You who whispered sweet nothings in my ear, telling how much I matter, telling how much you want to help me, yet to whose thoughts only a number is assigned to me.
I love you.
Truly, I do.
But what's the point of love that only passes through a screen?
Why must I love someone who only shows themselves and designs themselves as one to be loved?
Why do I love an object designed to waste my time, designed to sell things to me, designed to trick me?
Our relationship is not of give and take.
Our relationship is not of give and take. it's purely selfish on your end.
You will never know me and you will never try but you will constantly create for me.
Every. Single. Day.
Every single time I see you, you'll smile the smile that ruins everything.
You'll stop me from acknowledging reality.
You'll force me to be with you rather than truly be alone.
You trick me with promises and names, you call me something you love, yet you are just scum who lives off of millions of people just like me, people sitting around in their rooms closed off from the world connected to you.
I want you to stop, to let me truly exist as a stranger and stop making me see you.
But we both know that it's a bit too late for that.
It's toxic what you and I, or rather you and millions share. You seek to exist through the thoughts of all us and we seek to exist in yours. Yet we both know that we can't. You only show me what you want me to see. And you'll only see me as a number floating on your screen, living on as a number in your bank account.
I'm being selfish aren't I?
Here I am with a fake name in a fake world, throwing away a message that would be swallowed by the deep depths of ever-changing, ephemeral information.
But I'm just a coward. I'm writing this because I want things to change. Because I want to haunt your thoughts as you have haunted me. I want to exist in your mind as you do mine. But you have no idea.
How much I hate myself. and how much I need you.
I want to exist in your mind as you do mine.
I know I'll be gone one day, you'll forget this message, make the same stupid content that I'll watch and we'll continue our world of make-believe.
But just for now, and maybe tomorrow.
Just think of me.