Do you ever meet someone and you’re like “holy shit, they have everything I’ve ever wanted in a person?” And then you begin obsessing over how perfect they are. Their hair. Their height.
Their eyes. Their hands. Their lips. Their jaw. Their body. Their voice. Everything is just so perfect and they meet your exact dream physical characteristics for a partner.
Then you eventually get to learn about their personality by hearing them talk to their friends and you realize that they have a great personality too. Funny. Goofy. Understanding. Trustworthy.
And then again you’re like “holy shit, they are truly what I have always wanted.” Then the sad part happens. You remember that you are very awkward, shy, and boring.
You can’t hold a conversation. You aren’t interesting. You aren’t “normal.” And you can’t seem to be able to change that about yourself because that’s just who you are. It then hits you.
All those overwhelming feelings. Feelings that make you cry. Feelings that make your heart ache. You come to the realization that you aren’t good enough for them.
You will never be good enough for them. You are out of their league. You two are completely opposite. You have no potential whatsoever. And you aren’t an exception.
Suddenly, all those butterflies in your stomach turn into anxiety and pain. You become insecure. You become sad. You change.
You begin to imagine how things would be like if you weren’t too shy and anxious to talk to them. You imagine what your life would be like with your perfect partner.
You imagine how happy you will truly be with them. You imagine so so so many scenarios every nigh before falling asleep. Those imaginations are what keeps you smiling.
Then you wake up the next day to go to whatever place you see them daily and your mood changes again. You tear up. You want to cry. You want to walk away. But you can’t.
You can’t stop yourself from staring at them. They’re just too beautiful. You’re scared to stare for more than 2 seconds because you don’t want them to catch you.
You don’t want them to get weirded out and think “What the f$&@? Why is this weirdo staring at me?” But then your eyes meet and your heart skips a beat. Wow they’re phenomenal.
Those coloured eyes starting through you and piercing your heart with passion. You immediately look away and curse yourself.
You continue feeling this way for months and months and those feelings keep getting worse.
Suddenly, it’s the end of the year and you’re about to leave this place forever. It hits you real hard this time. You will never see this person probably ever again.
You’ve wasted months obsessing over them but you’ve yet to say a simple “hello.” They don’t know who you are. They don’t know how you feel about them.
They are probably not gonna ever be interested in knowing you. And it’s too late to try to do anything about it. It’s too late to finally make a move. It’s too late to try to become friends.
It’s just way too late.
The final day comes. You hear them mention it being their final day at this place. You heart shatters even though you’ve known today would be their final day since weeks ago.
You are sitting infront of them. You hear them talking about their plans with their friends and see how happy they seem.
You look at the clock and it’s 20 minutes before you are dismissed to leave. You want to stop the time. You want to stare at them for as long as you can.
You want to get off your chair and walk to them and just freaking grab their face and kiss the soul out of them. Oh you wanna do so many things.
*DING* 3 minutes left.
You leave the room and you all start walking. They’re behind you but you’re too scared to turn back and look. You want a miracle to happen.
You want your life to turn into a movie and get your Prince Charming right then and there. Your stress and anxiety is killing you. You’re heart is beating hard. “Look. At. Them.
” You tell yourself. “Just. Do. It.” You finally look down the hall and you see them. You make a 1 second eye contact, one last time. And as you do that, you hear your dismissal.
Your eyes tear up and you turn around and start walking quickly. This is it. This is the end of a story that never began. Your friends try to calm you down but you can’t hear them.
Everything is in slow motion. It feels like your life is crumbling down. It feels like you’ve just lost what you thought was your ideal mate, your soulmate. All you wanna do is scream and cry.
You begin regretting not taking the chance to talk to them all this time. You begin overthinking it and and questioning yourself.
“Maybe if I had the courage to talk to them, we could’ve been friends by now. Hell they could’ve liked me back and we could’ve been together.
” You get in the bus to go home and you can barely hold your tear. You keep thinking about that last 1 second eye contact and you bite your lips hard.
You look up and blink 6 times in a row to avoid the tears from coming down.
You play a montage in your head of an alternative universe where the person asks what’s wrong and you let your heart out. They hold you tight and kiss you. “You’re an idiot, took you long enough.
You get home and run to your room to cry.
Aaaaand it is truly over.
Do you ever feel this way? Because same.