Sitting in my babies' room feeding Thomas while I watched Abel sleeping. I couldn't help but feeling like I was betraying them by staying here in Charming to some degree.
I'm in the position of being stuck in between a mother and wife. I would hurt someone with any decisions I make.
Sometimes it's myself I'm betraying, hurting and lying to just to make it through the day.
Was I cheating them out of a normal childhood by living here? Most children growing up never know what the words chaos and mayhem even mean.
But I know my boys are destined to not only know those words but, to live them. No matter how much I have tried to protect them from it.
I couldn't as long as Jax remained a part of the club and we stay here.
I've always been told that a good old lady was strong at all times and never lets nothing bother her. I totally disagree with that scenario.
You have to be somewhat weak to learn to live this kind of life. You have to be torn down and rebuilt to become accustom to what they do in the club and the way they live.
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