Dear best friend or I guess ex best friend,
So I know you said you didn’t want to fight, and that’s not what I’m trying to do here.
I’m trying to understand what happened because honestly I’m still confused. I’m a lot of things right now. I’m hurt and I’m angry and I want to hate you but I don’t. I couldn’t ever.
A part of me really wants to tell you how I miss you and not having you in my life is one of the weirdest and most painful feeling but I know you probably don’t care,
cause if you did we’d still be friends.
Everyday I find things I want to send to you cause they were our inside jokes or it’s a cute dog or I want to tell you about something that happened and it sucks because I know that
you don’t want me in your life.
I pictured us a actual forever friends I guess. Like you’d be in my wedding and would be a aunt to my kid if I had one. I pictured you in the big moments but I guess not anymore.
And look I’m not saying any of this to make you feel bad or guilt you. I’m trying my hardest to not be petty.
I know I was always a lot to deal with. But every time you reassured me that friends are there for that. I guess that wasn’t really true.
I knew our friendship had started changing a while ago but I wanted to ignore it because I cherished you as a friend so much.
I knew when you started to resent me and felt obligated to friendship, but I hoped maybe it would go back to how it used to be.
The thing is you broke my heart.
I didn’t know friends could hurt more than anything else. And the way and time you decide to do it shows how much regard you had towards me. I realize I was very needy and a lot to handle.
And my only defense was that I was scared, I was alone since my family was a too far away to help me,
and I thought I could count on you since there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t have done if you needed me.
What did I do that was so wrong? One day we were sending pictures and jokes and using nicknames and the next it was a cold door.
I wish you could make me understand, then maybe it wouldn’t hurt so bad.
I feel like this happened out of nowhere and at the same time I’m thinking over everything and it’s been coming for a while I guess.
Was I that bad of a friend? Did I really make you hate me that much?
You were the best friend that broke my heart and have made me question every relationship I have.
I hope you cherish the friends you keep and know that I don’t hate you, but I agree with you about cutting ties So we’re just some weird form of strangers with memoirs and secrets I guess.
The friend you left behind