The Doctor had imagined some variation of this moment countless times in his nightmares or while brooding after close calls, but now, as it happens, it’s like nothing he could have imagined.
It’s so, so much worse.
There are no goodbyes, no time to say all the things that need to be said.
He’s not holding her, not even with her.
He can’t offer her any kind of comfort or reassurance as she falls toward the void, toward hell.
Wrapped up in the horror of not only losing her, but losing her to
, all he can do is lock onto her panicked gaze and scream her name for the few seconds it takes her to be swallowed by the Void.
Her piercing scream is cut off abruptly as the last flash of golden hair disappears.
Then Rose Tyler, his beloved companion, only exists in the past tense.
It takes him a couple more seconds to refuse this unacceptable reality.
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