It's not often that I tread deep into the forest on my lonesome but when I do, it's because I like the peaceful and quiet environment.
It's a break away from the cluster-fuck of a mess that civilization has become. This time however, I'm here for a different reason. Not to escape civilization, but to escape myself...
When I was 8, a wave of depression and emptiness started to wash over me.
There's no specific reason how it started or what triggered it, but it must of been bad, since that wave has grown much bigger and much more powerful.
It's slowly but surely starting to consume my happiness away, bit by bit. Just like how the forest consumes me, step by step.
The worst part about this whole thing, is that not many people understand what I'm going through. They just think of it as just a feeling of sadness. It's not just that.
It's a mixture of different feelings. A mixture that cannot really be seen by someone, but can be felt by someone. There's also lots of people that think their is no reason to be depressed.
Do they know what it's like to be in my situation? Do they know what it's like to never truly feel happy?
I look around to see how deep I've gotten into the forest. I usually zone out when I'm heavily into thinking about something. Hence, some of my thoughts are in the second paragraph.
It's pretty dark, so it is a deep part of the forest. I notice a small pond with a few flowers around it. What a perfect place for it to happen..
I stroll over to the pond and take a better look at it. It's pretty deep for a pond. I can't specifically tell how deep it is, but it's deep enough that it will work.
I grab the knife out of my pocket and slowly start to slit my arms. The blood drains from my arms to my fingertips, then drips onto the ground.
I look down and notice a little puddle of blood that formed.
"There's a little extra food for the vegetation" I said jokingly.
After 10 minutes of cutting, I finish up the last cut on my right arm. I count the amount of cuts I've made on myself.
"Fourteen. Seven for each arm" I said to myself.
I look at the knife that's being firmly grasped in my left hand. I take the knife and I throw it as far as I can. A few seconds later, a singe loud knock was heard.
Then, I face the pond, with a somewhat eager emotion on my face.
I look up from the pond. "I hope you're happy for me!"
I yelled. "After this, there's going to be one less hopeless asshole you have to deal with!"
I then turn back to face the pond. I close my eyes, I let my balance pull me forward and I fall into the pond. I hold my breath and close my eyes.
My mind starts to race fast and memories start to fly by right before me. My first fishing trip...My first honor award..The birth of my sisters...All of these were swell memories.
Memories that couldn't outweigh the depression..
"My family might miss me.....But I won't miss me...: I thought as I slowly drifted into the sight of nothingness...
This was my first ever depressing story and was heavily based on a dream I actually had. I hope you guys found it at least a bit entertaining.