A Tall Man in A Short Hat
A Tall Man in A Short Hat stories
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There was a tall man with a short hat sitting on top of a lamp post. A breeze blew by and the hat fell off, but the man continued to sit still, afraid that he would fall. He finally braced himself to look down at the landing place of his hat. The hat had pierced through the horn of a boar that snored below him.
By somekindofjelly https://www.reddit.com/r/...

A Tall Man in A Short Hat

by somekindofjelly

There was a tall man with a short hat sitting on top of a lamp post. A breeze blew by and the hat fell off, but the man continued to sit still, afraid that he would fall.

He finally braced himself to look down at the landing place of his hat. The hat had pierced through the horn of a boar that snored below him.

Furious about his now ruined hat, the man kicked his shoe towards the boar in an attempt to wake him. The shoe caught the breeze, landed in the boar’s yawning mouth and was quickly digested.

A rumbling crept from the boar’s stomach (boars don’t react well to a specific type of rubber sole) and the beast kicked back his hoof in frustration, rattling the lamp post side to side.

The tall man rattled about until his equilibrium was compromised, sending him towards the ugly pig. The man reached his lanky arms outward and grasped onto the boar’s wisp of a tail.

Without a proper brace for his fall, he crushed down onto his right knee yelping with pain, but the boar continued to sleep.

Curious, thought the man, but he took his hat and wobbled down the walk towards a local drug store. *I’ll take my usual* he demanded to the ethnic shop keep.

Before the boy could grab the man a pack of Winstons and a stick of beef jerky the door hammered open. In walked the boar with sleep in his eyes.

*Nice day* he snorted, grabbing a tin of antacids with three teeth and placing them on the counter. *Yes. Nice day*. Said the man, counting the floor tiles.

*Why were you resting on top of that lamp post?* Asked the boar. *I’m a very tall man and benches rest too low to the ground*.

He continued, rocking onto his socked foot, *Why didn’t you wake up when I dropped my hat, when you swallowed my shoe or when I pulled your tail*?

The boar took a moment to wiggle his snout, *I take a lot of vicodin*.

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