A short story I wrote for my English Class. Would like some feedback!
A short story I wrote for my English Class. Would like some feedback! stories
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anon
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Autoplay OFF  •  8 months ago
Hey guys, I wrote this 2 weeks ago in my 9th grade English class. I would appreciate some feedback and possible title suggestions :) The sun was shining gently over the field, with the wind ever so slightly rustling the leaves of the great yew tree that shaded her family.
By Bananapooper https://www.reddit.com/r/...

A short story I wrote for my English Class. Would like some feedback!

by Bananapooper

Hey guys, I wrote this 2 weeks ago in my 9th grade English class. I would appreciate some feedback and possible title suggestions :)

The sun was shining gently over the field, with the wind ever so slightly rustling the leaves of the great yew tree that shaded her family.

She was wearing her finest white dress, her grandmother’s pearl necklace delicately wrapped around her neck. Her father walks with her down the red carpet, perfectly lain out in the grass.

He cups her hand in his, warming it. He has tears in his eyes as he looks down at her, threatening to breach.

They neared the end of the carpet. Where her fiance stood, waiting, with roses littering his feet. Her favourite flower.

As they approached, her father tightly squeezed her hand, forcing a quick, brief smile at the relatives who stood by their sides.

There they were. Her father hugged her fiance, gave her a hard kiss on the forehead, and walked away without looking back. Her fiance looked down at her.

‘Hey darling’, he says, managing a trembling smile. He leaned down and softly kissed her lips. He held his lips on hers for a long time.

He rose, and gently nudged a strand of hair behind her ear. ‘Bye darling’, he says, with his tears softly hitting the rose petals littered around the polished oak box.

He straightens to his full height, turns around, and walks away.

They closed the lid, and slowly lowered her into the soft, warm brown soil.

Edit: Changed a word from past tense to present.

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