she smiled as she watched the people she loved not see that she wasn't okay
that they believed her lies of happiness
that they saw her smile and stopped there not bothering to search within her eyes.
not caring enough to ask beyond the 'are you okay,' they never noticed the fresh long lines beneath the long sleeve of her shirts on hot summer days.
they never bothered with answers just as long as they heard what they needed to hear,
that she'll be on this earth with them even though she fantasied her death a million different ways the night before.
she cried, she laughed, she faked, she cut, she loved, she lost, she hurt, she smiled
and she hated herself and there was nothing anybody could do to help her understand these feelings
so here she stands alone but surrounded by people who consider themselves her friends