Explaining Myself to Me



        Explaining Myself to Me feelings stories
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Autoplay OFF   •   6 months ago
i'm sorry i've filled you with hate and depression i dont want to put blame on anybody else

Explaining Myself to Me

I'm sorry I've filled you with hate and depression

I'm sorry I've filled you with hate and depression I don't want to put blame on anybody else

I'm sorry I've filled you with hate and depression I don't want to put blame on anybody else but just saying

my mother deserted me,

my mother deserted me, my father unknown,

my mother deserted me, my father unknown, my 'adoptive sister' bullied me,

my mother deserted me, my father unknown, my 'adoptive sister' bullied me, my 'adoptive brother' turned his head most the time,

my mother deserted me, my father unknown, my 'adoptive sister' bullied me, my 'adoptive brother' turned his head most the time, their parents don't know me.

I live with a person that doesn't know the turmoil going on inside my head.

i'm a seventeen year old girl who has tried to unsuccessfully kill herself,

i'm a seventeen year old girl who has tried to unsuccessfully kill herself, Twice.

What makes it even better is that I am the only person that knows.

I was done with the world but I needed to prove myself to me after those failed attempts to my life.

So I stopped self-harming (3 years clean).

So I stopped self-harming (3 years clean). I mean, yes I still get those strong urges to run a blade across my wrist and see those long red marks, but I stop myself short every time.

Call me a petty teen

Call me a petty teen, I don't care,

Call me a petty teen, I don't care, but my reason for living is

Not God,

Not God, Not friends,

Not God, Not Friends, Family

Not God Not Friends Family probably not

But the need to prove to everyone that I don't need them.

Okay...

Okay... I'm ok with putting the blame on someone else because I haven't learned how to forgive yet

I know I'm petty.

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