She died 5 hours ago and I just found out about an hour ago. She was amazing, I loved her so much and in my head I still can't believe she's gone.
She meant so much to me it's hard to imagine life without her. My brother is very emotional and has been crying for the past hour now.
I don't feel emotions. I have a disorder called Alexithymia. It's where a person can't feel or express emotions. And even with that I still feel what I think might be sadness.
I don't know what emotions feel like. And I can't tell what emotion I'm feeling but despite that I know that I'm upset. I feel like crying and I have been crying.
I miss her so much. I usually get home from school and she's here but she hasn't been home for the past week. She was hospitalized but everything was supposed to be going okay.
They said she would be coming home tomorrow cause everything was going smoothly but she never made it to tomorrow.
I don't know why I made this. Some people say talking to people about things like this helps. I guess it kind of did. I don't think anyone actually read this but if you did thank you.
I will continue to post, I'm not giving up this website, but I probably wont be posting for a while because of this.