,,Not much longer"

The infamous crying myself to sleep...

Minutes becoming days, then weeks,

and months. With the taste of despair.

I've stopped trying to say it's not fair.

While each day feels exactly the same

with AM to PM mind full of his name

and every walk under the moon or sun.

Each moment we've spent just having fun.

Glimpses of future we have ahead...

Holding hands, cooking, going to bed

in the dream place we'll both call home.

No more "good morning" over the phone.

Constantly daydreaming about day D

when you finally end it. You look at me,

hold me and wipe my tears away.

"We've got each other for the rest of our days.

It's just us. And I need nothing more."

He'll say the words I've been waiting for.

With each day, the hope's a little weaker,

but our bond is growing thicker.

Holding his promise close to my heart,

trying to trust him and wait for the start.

But each "good night" just worsens the pain,

knowing it' s been another day

without him finally making it true.

With a heart emoji, but without "love you".

And she's still there. Haunting my thoughts.

Along with a kind of jealous remorse.

She can kiss him and hold his hand...

but then, she still thinks I'm just a friend.

Noone deserves to be clueless like that.

Not even this girl with him in her head.

See, he's my best friend. My other half.

We've spent years growing heart to heart.

If it wasn't so, if I didn't know his soul,

I might not hold on to this blinding hope.

But I've learnt to see through his words and his eyes,

And I just know it's worth all of the cries.

So I keep pushing the gloom away

and deciding to hold on one more day.

The infamous crying myself to sleep.

Please, don't let the day become more weeks...