A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer, bartender says “sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse.
What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh
What do you call an alligator detective? An investi-gator.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field
There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?” The other muffin says, “AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!”
What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless
What’s the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu? One requires tweetment and the other an oinkment.
If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get? Mistle-toes
After a crime, a detective noted that he thought it was foul play. The other detective said, “You mean, he was playing with birds?”
What did the policeman say to his bellybutton? You’re under a vest.
Why do people say “break a leg” when you go on stage? Because every play has a cast