Sometimes I flee and I wander When I have a dozen questions unanswered. In my head they are wondered at sunrise and at sunset If a truthful answer would ever be planted.
As a child in a vision of hope, I sit on the tender ground of life and death, Carefully watch as the gardener water The seedlings of truth to growth and of lies to death.
At the age of sixteen, Ten out of thousands have grown from the soil, Becoming trees of triumph. The rest are dead seedlings, wilted plantlets and withered branches.
At home are the plain writing, procrastinating period and the growing instrument. On the book the eyes are fixed where the heart is satisfied with knowledge. On the phone the mind is disturbed by the media. O Lord, why do I feel this way?
How much more distressed can I be? How absurd that I am distracted plainly by the trash, For it is I who love knowledge more than style, And now only one out of five should be proud of who we are.
For it is clear that those who reject knowledge are fools, And those who do not love wisdom are failures. Those who lack knowledge but seek knowledge are learners. And those who are not wise but love wisdom are the children of God.
Then I wonder again why am I feeling so distressed? Is it the overtime stress that has acted a pressure upon me? Is it the long term lone that has led me to quite a loneliness? For it should be clear I have been very distracted lately.
O Heavens, how upset my heart is telling me so. For I cease to be fruitful when droughts come my way. O my God, how empty my soul is when floating in mid air? For I have been alone long enough in this dimension.
When will the true love of mine walk into my life? I don't need him to be flirty like every other player. I don't want a man without a godly life or without a vision. I want a handsome and humble, passionate and productive, caring but careful, wise and faithful man to be mine.
In prayers, in thoughts and in chatters, I long for this dream lover of mine to come. My mother and my grandmother have always warned me to be cautious, For three out of five men are like hungry wolves, some are disguised as sheep. The rest are just... what should I say?
Sometimes I wonder, then the heartache and it hurts When a memory flashes back in the fragile core of my mind. The people who I once thought I had something with, or were my everything Now have became nothing and nothing at all.
For I thought I meant something to them And those thoughts were merely lies to myself because I wanted assurance From the fact that a little time spent together, whether by texting, phone calls, just a day out, a hug, a dance, a polite touch or giving a compliment Did not mean anything to them.
Why am I so sensitive and emotional to such little things? How can I afford to keep having these misunderstandings? For in the western culture, a kiss on the cheek is merely just a polite gesture. If I were to be kissed on the cheek, I would have thought romance was coming my way.
How much more naive can I be? Must I really hold on to the fact that I must take everything so seriously, into such careful and thorough consideration? I, indeed, am naive for sure, but I am not at all ashamed of myself because I am a learner. For, still, I hunger for knowledge and I thirst for wisdom.
I, on my laptop on the physical table, my fingers hovering over the keyboard and hitting the keys of invention, I wonder if I should be writing on a Saturday when my examination still arises on the very next Monday. There will be church tomorrow And if I go, there will be hope, for the Creator is merciful.
-------------- The End -------------- Written on: 27 October 2018 Written by: Angela Tsng __________________________________ Wattpad - AngelaTsngOfficial Instagram - angelatsng