you're growing up and i'm fading away, but i just want to say that i was here.
you're growing up and i'm fading away, but i just want to say that i was here. friendship stories
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andidisappeared
andidisappearedTumblr @andidisappeared
Autoplay OFF  •  4 months ago
Written from the viewpoint of an imaginary friend.
// I always knew I would disappear. //

you're growing up and i'm fading away, but i just want to say that i was here.

by andidisappeared

You've gotten so big. I remember when you first called me to your side: You were so small under the blankets in the night Shivering, and wanting me to be there so you Wouldn't have to be alone.

You led me by the hand into your home. I opened my eyes and suddenly you were there. You imagined my looks, which were a little strange And made my movements a little awkward, But I didn't care.

How could I not have loved you at once? Especially when you needed me so much And when you were scared, I could feel the warmth of your touch As we comforted each other.

You were the only one who knew how "real" I was. Back then, we had each other, and that was enough-- Although sometimes your play got a little rough, But I didn't mind at all.

You used to be so small. I can remember you looking up into my eyes: A child who was normally so shy, And now you're taller than I was when you imagined me fighting the monsters in your closet.

Your hand started slipping out of my grip. Now I think I've lost all hold of it. Of course I was so proud of you when you made real friends, Real children who could stick with you to a real end,

Unlike me. I always knew I would disappear.

I knew it the day you called me here. I just thought that we had so much time: we had years That I realize now would never be enough for me, even if we had millions of them to spend.

You've gotten so big And I've faded so much.

And I won't get to see you grow all the way up.

We had so little time together. I always knew it would never be enough, And soon you'll forget me. But it was worth it: worth it all,

My disappearance is worth seeing you grow so tall, Playing games with you all day And waiting in your room for you when you went away And being ready to listen if you needed to talk after school

And dancing with you to stupid music on the radio that I actually thought was cool. And talking to you: you have always been so much more interesting than you give yourself credit for being.

You're so tall now. And you're still so smart, kind, brave, and beautiful So clever, so caring, and so absolutely wonderful. You've let go of my hand. I can see you from where I stand:

In your room, faint and almost completely transparent. You can still see me, but only for moments, And in a little bit I'll be completely forgotten.

I would be crying if I weren't so tough, although really I'm not: When I know that I'll be just another stranger from another pleasant dream that you forgot.

But you loved me once. Love is real, so I was real once; That should be enough. It would have been a pleasure to see you all grown up, Which you are, mostly. So before I go, I just want to say

That I'll miss you, that I'll still be with you Curled up sleeping in your heart and lingering In the back of your mind, watching over you, always.

And I was here. I was here. You're all grown up, and I'm going to fade completely away, but I was here. I was never real, but I was here. I was here, and I'll remember.

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