it's you. || 4/4
it's you. || 4/4 aspiringpoet stories
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anaspiringpoet
anaspiringpoet // some of my words. //
Autoplay OFF   •   3 months ago
it's you. || 4/4
i am okay.

it's you. || 4/4

it's you. || 4/4 i am okay.

i have decided that i am going to be okay.

when i told my mom that,

she took the band-aid off my collarbone,

and watered the daisies in the garden until they came back to life,

and wiped the tears from my cheeks,

and told me that in order to fix the hole in my chest,

that i had to forgive myself.

she told me that i never have to apologize for this.

because that meant apologizing for loving too loudly, which is something that i should never have to do.

she told me not to apologize, and not to be afraid of how loud i love,

because that was a part of me that saying i'm sorry for would only dull.

she told me never to apologize for this mess,

and that if i could love the wrong person this much,

to just imagine how much i could love the right one.

you called me baby girl,

and i thought that meant that you loved me,

and that i didn't need anything else anymore, as long as i had you.

but i was wrong.

just like i was when i thought that i would never be okay again.

you called me baby girl,

and i thought that i didn't need anything else anymore,

but i forgot about myself.

i forgot how many times i have

picked myself up off of the floor when i have been broken like this,

and washed the smudged black makeup off of my eyes, and put myself to bed, when there had been no one else there for me.

how many times i have

said no to something that wasn't good for me, and yes to something that was.

i forgot how many times i have

bandaged my own scrapes, and made peace with the war inside of my head.

how many times i have

loved myself, and been kind and patient with me, when no one else has,

and how many times i have put myself back together.

you made me forget that if i wasn't in this body,

how i would think that i am treating me the best that i can.

you made me forget that i am doing the best that i can and that that is the best thing i can do.

i thought that i was so fucked up without you because you were the only thing that could hold all of my broke pieces together,

but i forgot that you were the one that broke them in the first place.

that you're the reason that i was fucked up.

and i forgot that you could never hold my pieces together,

you just made me forget about how broken they were until they broke some more and i couldn't ignore them any longer.

i forgot that i am the only one that can put all of my broken pieces back together.

you made me forget that i am okay just the way i am.

it was you.

you. you. you.

it was always you.

but now i realize that it doesn't always have to be you.

time went on,

and a piece of my 12:08 miracle came to be my reality.

no, i didn't forget your name,

but the sun rose in the morning,

and i woke up from the nightmare.

the sun sets and rises every day,

and i am trying the best that i can.

the sun still shines on me,

but some days i think of you, and i don't feel it.

but, oh,

sometimes i do.

the sun rose,

and i am okay. - e

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