It’s such a stupid power to have.
Out of all the things I could’ve gotten—and believe me, I used to have nightmares over how bad it might be—this was not on my list.
I mean, seriously, who came up with this?
Probably one of the pranksters up there. Maybe Dionysus got the Fates drunk or something and took over just as I was next in line.
That’s definitely what happened.
That’s the only plausible reason why my special power is so completely *not* special.
You’re probably wondering what it is,
this awful not-so-special special power. You ready for it?
Okay. Here goes:
I can take people’s breath away.
Yup, you heard me right. I make them *breathless.*
Sickening, isn’t it?
Yeah. I can make people feel winded, make them feel like the breath was knocked out of their chest, make them wheeze if I’m in a particularly bad mood.
I mean, the only upside is that my asthma is gone.
Maybe that was the Fates’ way of apologizing for giving me such a wimpy power.
Because, seriously, I thought I was gonna get a cool super power and be chosen as that one special person who had the one amazing power that was going to save the world.
Not that the world needs saving right now,
but, like, *if* the situation ever arose, I would be ready!
But, what would I be able to do?
Slow them down enough for the real super powers to step in? Make them cough?
What a joke, right?
Here's a lesson for you, kids:
if you’re worried the Fates are gonna screw you over, you should be. It’s like they have a book of ideas just waiting to be used.
Gotta go. Someone's shouting outside.
Jerry probably peed on the neighbor’s rose bushes again.
Catch ya later.