Thank you guys! I just want to make you proud now.
Thank you guys! I just want to make you proud now.  stories
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amandalow00
amandalow00Community member
Autoplay OFF  •  a year ago
Think your alone in this life? Need a little inspiration? Read about my biggest struggle in my life and how I came out better in the end with the support of those around me.

Thank you guys! I just want to make you proud now.

A baby was born on July 19th, 2000 in Anchorage, Alaska to a happy Mr. and Mrs.Low. For three years this couple and their four children lived happily until Mrs.Low ruined it all.

The family was torn apart, Mr.Low turned to work and his family while Mrs.Low turned to drugs and sex.

My siblings and I bounced back and forth between the stable home my dad was building with my step-mom and the "home" my mom and whatever freakshow she called her boyfriend at the time lived.

There were times where mom would break our hearts by asking my dad to care for us during her week. Finally, my mom decided she was done with that and was going to move to Florida.

She kept my oldest sister and my brother because they had no relationship with my dad being from a previous relationship of my moms and told my dad to have my sister and me for the

six months before she moved as a "transition" period. During this time my mom got deep into drugs and my sister, and I started to call my step-mom "mom" which irritated my birth mom.

She decided that we were going to go back to living with a week and my dad for a week.

This lasted for about a month before CPS was called on her when she was caught smoking weed with my oldest sister and her friends.

My grandparents then forced her to sign full custody of us girls to my dad, they took care of my older sister and brother and sent my mom to rehab in Washington.

When my mom finished rehab, my grandparents, oldest siblings and my mom all moved to Florida, where she fell slowly back into drugs.

My sister and I would call and call just wanting to talk to my mom, but she almost never answered.

Most times it was better she didn't pick up the phone because when she did, she was "busy" and promised to call us back.

We would sit by the phone for the rest of the day just waiting for a call that never came.

When I was 8, my sister and I would visit my mom in Florida,

but these trips were never the joyous vacations that people would imagine we had because for most of them my mom was drugged up in bed.

A lot of the time my siblings and I had to come up with ways to entertain ourselves unless someone would get us to do something out of the house.

When this would happen, I never wanted to go because I never knew my mom was on drugs and wanted to stay home to take care of her because I thought she was sick.

Nobody had the heart to tell little eight year old me what was going on and they would most of the time let me stay.

They would sometimes force me to go, and while at the time I hated them for it, now looking back I am thankful that they did.

By the end of these summers, my sister and I were well ready to come back to my dad, step-mom, and two little brothers.

These trips continued to be my life until the summer I turned 13, and my grandparents asked for us to stay home.

At this point, my sister had already found out what was going on with my mom, but I was still kept in the dark.

About a week before my birthday my dad sat me down and told me I wouldn't get a call from my mom on my birthday because she was in jail.

My mom had been caught stealing money for drugs from my grandparents, and they called the cops on her.

She was sent to court-ordered rehab after that and was not going to be able to call my sister. She had a few days in between jail and rehab and face-timed us.

I remember her apologizing to me and saying the reason she couldn't call me on my birthday was out of her control.

I got up and sat outside the door because I couldn't sit there and watch her tell me excuses.

My mom continued to say to my sister the same thing about her birthday that was coming up in a few days.

At that point I just wanted her to fess up that this all was her fault and walked back into the room and my mom that she was full of it. She was the one who chose drugs nobody forced her.

Those were her actions, and now we all have to live with the consequences of them. She handed the phone to my grandma who continued to say how this was all out of her control.

I left at the point and went to my dad and stepmom. They were my rock in everything.

My dad has been there fighting for me from day one, and the second my step-mom stepped into my life she has been on my team.

It has taken me a long time to get over the fact that my mom chose drugs over my sister and me and build a healthy relationship with her.

It has taken her a long time to accept the fact that she has to live with the consequences of her decisions and that nothing that happened to her was out of her control, that she created it all.

She is part of the reason I am so passionate about furthering my education because I want to prove that I can live my life better than she did.

My dad and my step-mom are the most prominent reason though. They have spent countless hours fighting with me and for me to give me the opportunity to live the best life I can.

They have spent so much energy, time, and money on me and the battle that has been my life. I just want to repay them and show them it was all for nothing.

I want to make them proud and be the most successful I can be.

In order to do that I need to go to school and further my education,

I need to learn all the skills I am going to need to do whatever it is I am going to do to make this world a better place and make them proud.

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