These four walls that surround me or the only thing i can call home, locked in this small room for hours days after days trapped in another that is my own thoughts, i am alone on my own.
Talking to my mother is like being a bee in a bears palm simply small and meaningless as she disregards the pain i feel,
mentally tearing myself apart till i am nothing i am nothing to live up to people of perfections. I am nothing but a disappointment and seen as a flaw.
Friends who just lost interest in me as if a old toy, no one to ease my painful thoughts that i lock up inside aching to break through.
I am nothing but a one glance something you see once but refuse to look back on,
as the light shines on my face nothing but a empty blank screen on my phone as if some hope of another voice then my own.
I may not have adapted well to this so called life but the struggling of trying but not being acknowledged no matter how small it will never be a proud moment for me.
I question this existence as if it's worth continue on this tunnel with no light at the end nothing but a dark cemented wall at the end unable to get through.
A million thoughts and decisions run through my head as they race to be my actions,
the orange and green ovoid pills that tease me in their container begging me to swallow them one by one or is it the thoughts of forgetting about my well being let the skin slowly sink into
my body as i rot slowly into nothingness but why stop those thoughts when i'm nothing but a sorrow for a day and nothing but forgetness through those minds.
I don't think i could ever end my life as if it was a easy task on my list of things to do but if the chance of death as if a speeding car was coming my way i wouldn't bother to attempt
to save myself rather welcome it with open arms as i hug death to a happy eternity.