20 years old class of 2016 the innocence of not knowing that i'll regret the words "i can't wait to graduate".
I'm lost in reality that i can not comprehend that i'm not part of it my mind works in a way that tells me to hold back on life.
20 years old with nothing everyone in school that you couldn't wait to see in class the friends you laughed and shared memories with were nothing but a bunch of snakes slithering around and
as soon as graduation hit and the caps went flying that was the end for us high school and the so called friendships no one was their for me no one asked for me to chill no one asked if i was
ok yet came to me when they needed something i was so naive and me being me i was there in a heart beat takes 'friends' like that to change who you are nothing but a lonely stone cold bitch
i guess people can call me selfish but that's just what i had to do to protect myself.
20 years old no future a head i'm a adult what's that you may ask?
i wouldn't know still living with my mom with a part time job at a retail store with hours that vary paid $9 an hour with a paycheck no higher than 40 bucks biweekly struggling to find a
new job in this city with thousands of help wanted signs but no calls.
20 years old not in school what holds me back? fear, my anxiety sets fear through me how will i know where to go ? will i meet new friends ? am i wasting money and time? is this what i want?
the thoughts of on online colleges cross my mind but what if i missing out on the experience i need,
moved to a new state no friends maybe college is what i need but i fear that i'll just push it back and do nothing more then have regret.
20 years old and no car i fear the road i worry about crashing the whole ride i don't feel in control when in the drivers seat it took me till 19 to get my license i do nothing
but push shit back do to 'what ifs' and fear. I fear for my future every night, i fear i will be nothing, i will be living off family, making my life not living for.