I might’ve said something that hurt But what you did was worse Your job was to raise me Your job was to praise me But you did neither of those things You said a million hurtful things Then blamed me for your fuckup Don't worry, I’ll have my come up
And when I do, you won’t have a part In the room for loving people I have in my heart I can’t make you happy so I won’t even try I’ll just forgive you for all the damage you did to my mind I’m done tryna excuse All your abuse All the gaslighting All of the fighting All the self hatred All the tears wasted
It’s your fault that I draw a blank If I try to remember before the fifth grade Just strobe light memories in my brain It was probably a mercy to forget the pain I mean, what do I have to gain From lying to you? Like you think that I do I’m telling the truth
But your version is different It’s hard not to resent The twisted wires in my head The ones that say I’m better off dead Did your actions put them there? If they did, would you even care?
I’m not ungrateful; I’m not a liar But you made sure that I’m not a cryer I’m not conniving or a bitch But if you raise your voice, I’m sure to flinch I’m not a waste and I’m not lazy But your gaslighting makes me think I’m crazy
I’m not useless; I’m not looking for trouble But I’ll rise stronger from the rubble I’m not your tool; I’m not even your daughter But I suppose I should thank you for making me stronger
I just want to say that there are many types of abuse. Emotional/mental abuse is just as valid as physical abuse. If you can relate to this poem, I'm sorry, and my dms are always open. Love, Alyvea