Here I am. Standing in front of the window. Watching. The rain drops. Falling . Gently on the window, hitting the ground slowly. I poured another glass of wine and went by the window.
Closed my eyes and cleared my mind. Took I deep breath and felt who a tear dropped along with the rain. When it hit the ground it was already too late. I lost it.
Felt the glass slipping of my hand and it broke into piece together with me. I could not help it but let It spread. It became dark for a minute. I cried. I screamed. I shouted.
I hit the wall and crawled on the floor. Stayed there for a while...and cried silently as someone could have heard me and saw my weakness but when I looked around, I was completely alone.
So, I let it go. It went all blank. When came into consciousness, I felt better. The room was mess - there was clothes, broken plates and bottles.
I pulled myself together and tidied up the room. Poured another class of wine and stood by the window.
The rain already stopped but I could still hear the drops falling from the roof and hitting the ground. Lit a cigarette and turned on the gramophone.
I do not know if it was the wine, the exhaustion or the jazz but I fell asleep on the sofa and woke up around midnight by a terrible feeling. There was someone in the house.
I could not hear it but I sensed it. It was there. I stood. Grabbed a big umbrella as a weapon a slowly approached the bedroom.
I could swear I heart steps and growling of the test of the old parquet. I opened the door a screamed: "What on earth do you want?". Glazed into the window and burst in laughter .
The branches of the old oak were slightly tapping on the window. Fine, I got it. For sure. I lost my mind. Or just took too much the past couple of years and I could not bear it any more. No..
I am pretty positive . "I am crazy."-said out load and poured another glass of wine. I though I've reached the point of acceptance of my craziness or it just began.