To My Dear Truthi,
This is hard for me to come out and say, because it feels so illogical and immature.
I barely met you, have spent maybe 3 physical times with you, and being who I am: I missed every opportunity to make it meaningful.
I know I am clueless, especially when it comes to reading flirty signals.
I myself am attracted to sarcasm and beauty, kindness and thoughtful remarks; but I am shy when it comes to making any kind of move I am uncertain of.
But every time our eyes met, I felt an electric signal. A desire in the eyes of you, and a yearning for love deep in my own heart.
The circumstances I was in make everything I feel less significant. I become overwhelmed with over-thinking, and in the end get swept away by a family member or friend.
Maybe it was the thought “I barely know you” or “We just met” or “What would my friend and his family think?” that put fear into my heart and had me ignore my feelings, that I know was their for the both of us.
The thought of distance is always a fearful one, as I believe relationships are defined by being close to on-another. Both mentally and physically, and it is a duality that is inseparable.
But still, it feels as if my heart is torn into two.
That though my life in the west must continue, it’s hard to adjust when you know someone in India wants to spend time with you that is more meaningful than anything you can find where you are now.