Where am I?
Im unable to see, I'm struggling to open my eyes. My vision is gone, all I see is darkness, all I feel is this cold darkness. One of my senses is completely destroyed.
I attempt to feel around my face to at least get a sense for myself the severe damage that has been the cause of my impaired vision.
But once again my body seems to fail me, I'm unable to move my hands. Once again I'm left feeling isolated in fear.
My breathing gets heavier and my heart starts beating to a faster drum and the panic starts to slowly seep through from the inside eating at my flesh, calm down I think to myself,
you're still alive.
I try to move around but its as if my brain is disconnected from the rest of my body. I am unable to move as fast as I'd like.
Okay, don't think about it just do it, on the count of three just move. 1... 2... 3...
I quickly turned to my left and a sudden jolt of pain that felt like pins and needles shot right to my body, when quickly I feel a set of hands on my shoulder, with a sweet but firm tone, I hear
"Don't move mrs. you need rest."
That voice, I don't recognize that voice. who was she? Why was she telling me to calm down? Can she not see Im blind and in pain, easier said than done I thought to myself.
I had so many questions that needed to be answered, but as I heard her voice, other familiar sounds in the background came with it.
The beeping noise of machines and clacking of a keyboard and I had a hunch of where I was at in this very moment.
"Where.. " my voice cracked, I couldn't even ask my question, It was painful to speak
"Where am I" I finally got out "what happened?" I was surprised with my success of getting two questions out there considering the unknowing condition I was currently in.
"ma'm you were in a terrible accident, please don't strain yourself, get some rest"
Why is she dodging my question? Was she hiding something? And if so, what was so terrible that she was unable to tell me.
I figured I had to be in pretty bad shape if she didn't want me knowing the answer to that question, might've placed me under a mental shock, more than I was already in.
It took me some time to comprehend what she was telling me, what accident I thought to myself? I wasn't doing anything that required such an unmanageable action.
Still undermining her warnings for my rest I was about to ask my third question and that's when it hit me, the memory came flooding back like a river running through a drought.
That memory that caused me to be here. In the hospital, once again.