Nothing to Remember
Nothing to Remember aww stories

aknier I occasionally remember to write things
Autoplay OFF   •   4 years ago
I woke up in the hospital, alone, and afraid.

Nothing to Remember

I woke up in the hospital

Stark white walls and machinery everywhere

So many wires and tubes connected to my body that I wasn't quite sure if I was human

To be honest, I wasn't quite sure who I was

The doctors came in with notepads and clipboards

They asked me what I remembered

I told them "nothing"

They asked if I knew my name, my age, who my family was

I knew nothing

They brought in a mirror

I looked at the reflection that stared back

Two bright green eyes, messy black hair, a giant scar running along the jawline

Nothing looked familiar

I reached up and touched my lips, and the figure in the glass did the same

It was me, it had to be

But my reflection was just as much a stranger to me as the doctors were

For two weeks, I stayed in the hospital

They put me back together, and tried to figure out who I belonged to

I'd been in a terrible car accident

But I had no ID on me

And I didn't recognize the car they showed me

Finally, after two long, painful weeks

A woman showed up

She swept into the hospital room and took charge from that moment on

She was beautiful

Long, blonde hair and bright blue eyes that danced

Her clothes were colorful and her voice kind, but she spoke in a way that had everyone hurrying to do what she asked

And when she saw me

She rushed to my side

And in her eyes I could see that she had loved me

I just couldn't remember when

She told me I was "Andy", and that she'd been worried sick

That we'd had plans, but I never showed, so she didn't know what to think

But I was actually in the hospital, and she didn't know

Isn't that horrible?

Her name was Autumn, she told me

And the first thing that I loved about her was that she didn't push me

She didn't try to hold me or touch me, even though I could tell she wanted to

She knew I didn't know her, and respected that

But she took care of me

She stayed by my side, scheduled my treatments, and worked to get me discharged from the hospital

Finally, the doctors said I could go

So she asked me,

"Andy, I know you don't remember me, or anything, really. I would like to keep helping you, to have you stay with me for a while, if you'd like that. If not, I understand.

But I think I could help, if you wouldn't mind"

She was so very kind

And so very pretty

I told her yes

Autumn's apartment was exactly what I'd have imagined by looking at her

It was full of light and color, but beautifully and stylishly decorated

She gave me the guest bedroom, let me decorate how I liked

I was able to move around on crutches, so she moved everything to the sides of the house to give me a path to walk down

She was so thoughtful, that way

After a month of living with Autumn, I was walking on my own again

I still couldn't remember my past

But Autumn and I had gotten close

She was the only person I knew, now

But that wasn't the reason I cared for her

She was perfect, and I was lucky to have her

One morning, she handed me a key

She said it was to my apartment

She handed me a notecard with an address

"I think you should go." She said

Half of me wanted her to come with me

But I knew that it would only make her sad to see me not remember anything

She told me nobody had been inside since my accident, and I should grab some of my clothes so I didn't have to keep wearing the same things

The next day, Autumn went to work

I took a taxi to my old apartment

As I looked up at the building, I still remembered nothing

When I unlocked the door, nothing seemed familiar

And when I walked inside, all I saw was a rather dusty apartment

Part of me had been hoping that coming here would bring back memories

But all it did was make me sneeze

I walked around the place, picking up various things

In the living room I found knickknacks, magazines, and a photograph of a small child with his mother

Looking at the date on the back, I guessed that was me

Funny, I didn't remember a childhood

Or a mother

I walked into the bedroom, finding it to be a bit of a mess

My room at Autumn's was messy too

I guess I was always messy, whether I remembered it or not

Next to the bed was another photo, this one in a fancy silver frame

I picked it up and brushed off the dust

It was me and Autumn, kissing atop a mountain

She'd never told me about that

I guess it was out of kindness, because seeing that photo made me sad with a complexity I can't explain

How hard it must have been for her, caring for the shadow of someone who once loved her

How difficult not to kiss me, to touch me, to tell me she loved me

Looking at the picture, we were deeply in love

I was looking at her like she was the only person in my world

Funny, because now she really was

I set down the photograph, turning around

On the closet, I saw a neatly pressed suit hanging

That was odd, considering the state I'd apparently left the rest of my apartment in

I ran my hand along the suit, almost to see if it was real

My hand unexpectedly ran into something hard, under the fabric

I reached my hand into the pocket, and withdrew a tiny velvet box

Odd, I didn't know why that would be there

I opened the box, gasping at what I saw

Inside lay a beautiful diamond ring

It looked to be vintage, with a delicate silver band inlayed with two tiny gems and one larger one in the center

And all of a sudden, I remembered something


That's what the sign on the jewelry store said

The store where I'd bought this ring

I remembered buying the ring

Why had I bought the ring?


Of course, for Autumn, because I loved her

I did?

Yes, I did

I was going to propose on May 22nd

The 22nd?

Didn't something else happen that day?

Oh yes, the accident

I was hit by a car the day I was going to propose

How sad.


Did Autumn know?

Did she know I was going to propose?

Did I stand her up, unknowingly, on the night I'd decided to propose?

"Meet me at Le Panche, 6:00. Love you!"

I had.

Tears streamed down my face as I pictured the sweet girl who had cared for me so tenderly excitedly getting ready.

She'd have arrived early, of course, I knew Autumn well enough by now to know that

She would have waited for me, naturally excusing me at first because I was always running late

Then as the clock ticked later, was she angry? worried? sad?

How long was it before she got the call? Before someone told her I was in the hospital, unable to remember anything?

How had she still cared for me every day, still sat by my side even as I didn't recognize her?

How did I deserve a woman this incredible?

I remembered lots of things, now

I remembered the date nights, the phone calls, the first time I said "I love you"

I remembered how we were talking of moving in together, how we were going to spend the summer with her family in Maine, how she giggled when I kissed her forehead

I remembered how she'd supported me when my mom died, the only family I'd had left, and been my rock to cling to without ever complaining

"Five years"

We'd been together five years, to the day

May 22nd was our anniversary

"July 13th!"

Tomorrow was July 13th

July 13th was, is, her birthday

I could surprise her

She hadn't said anything to me, and she wouldn't be expecting me to remember

But I did, now

And I had so much work to do

The next morning, I was waiting in the living room when she woke up

I usually slept through her leaving for work, but not today

Today I was sitting in the living room surrounded by flowers, her favorite chocolates, and balloons in her favorite color

And in my pocket I had another surprise, for a bit later

Autumn stumbled into the room still half asleep

Her hair was messy, pajamas unkempt, and she had absolutely no makeup on

And she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen

She stopped in surprise when she saw me, looking around with confusion

"Happy birthday, Autumn" I said

Tears sprang to her eyes, and she fell to her knees

"How-How did you know?" she gasped

"I remembered". I replied

"You remembered... remembered what, exactly?"

"Everything. I remembered who you are, and how perfect you are. I remembered everything you ever did for me. And I remembered that I love you, Autumn."

"Loved, you mean. Not love." She answered

"No silly, I love you. Still. Now. Forever."

I hugged her then, tightly, as she cried

I kissed her face, just like I remembered she loved, and she sobbed

At last she stopped crying, and we just lay on the floor, cuddling and kissing, for hours

And I felt happier than anything

And that night, we went out to dinner

She was a different version of the same beautiful, in her fancy dress and all

And we were still so happy

And I almost forgot, in all the joy

But I remembered, in the park she took me to where we'd first met

I remembered to pull the box out of my pocket and to get down on one knee

And I truly hope that she'll say yes

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