James addiction stories

aketto 21, trans man, poet, offbeat.
Autoplay OFF   •   2 years ago
Trigger warning: multiple references to drug use, language.

Taste of chocolate lingering on lips.
Sky blue eyes, smoky fingertips.
Two stacked cups, two strange boys,
One with privilege, one with no choice.

For reference: "erhabenes Leben" means sublime life, and "wie konnte die Welt ihm mehr geben" means "how could the world give him more."


Taste of chocolate lingering on lips.

Sky blue eyes, smoky fingertips.

Two stacked cups, two strange boys,

One with privilege, one with no choice.

Two septum rings, one black, one gold.

Two fatherless boys with stories untold.

One bottle blond and his love's curly locks,

Both sinking fast, tied to rocks.

One is a chainsmoker, the other an addict.

One holds flat affect, one is emphatic.

He couldn't help but follow him home,

But he was just chasing a rolling stone.

Three senior roommates, one sophomore guest.

Sophomore tried his hardest, he tried his best.

One jar of shrooms, never touched.

Endless nostalgia, the memory too much.

Everything fragmented, down on the floor.

Childish love is always so sore.

Two fucked up people, only sophomores have heart.

Where does the story end, where does it start?

September 7th, time stamps on an iPhone.

Pictures remind him he wasn't alone.

Two hedonists, both anarchist and queer

Dig up the roots of all they hold dear.

Polaroid pictures, but when did he take them?

Every night together, fairy lights hang dim.

Dark web surfing, benzo popping with vodka.

They roofied themselves to solve all their problems.

Laying under the stars, bright white pinpoints.

Two blue bars, two tight rolled joints.

Smoke it up as the music floats by

While his robe is rolled up way past mid thigh.

Another day, another hazy scene.

What happened in the in between?

Sitting tangled together on the couch.

Kiss hard, blow smoke into each other's mouths.

He said, "You'll love this drug," crystalline powder.

The other railed a line and rolled for hours.

Electro beat drifting, papi in front seat.

This was his life for days on repeat.

Xans and bud for the comedown, tried Valium too.

Vagabond dreaming and wishes come true.

One little spoon, one big spoon, never alone.

Chemicals in their veins bring them home.

Got inked together, "erhabenes Leben."

Wie konnte die Welt ihm mehr geben?

Four hip dermals, double helix, and a tattoo

Will always remind me, J, of my days with you.

You said, "We're like the gay Bonnie and Clyde."

I laughed nonchalantly, along for the ride.

You said too many things, promises unkept.

All just drugs talking, no substance, no depth.

Driving to Syracuse, completely boundless.

Shotgun seat, unprepared for the soundness.

Comfort in all forms, free and bright.

MDMA makes all wrongs right.

One bums cigarettes, one gives freely.

One boy finds love, the other has no need.

MD ties tight knots in silken heartstrings.

Reckless wanderers, decadence gleaming.

Disappear for two days, gone with no trace.

Is he past the point of saving his face?

Burning bridges, one after another.

What more can he give to the decadent lover?

One boy hanging on, the other gone.

Why is this lingering love so strong?

One boy has everything, one boy is nothing.

But can't his love amount to something?


All for fucking nothing.

You are the ghost in my bones.

Goddamn it James, leave my memory alone.

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