July 21st, 2018
Well, this week has been just a complete spiral of burning firey crap. I mean the shitstorm that has been my week makes me wonder if taking this teaching job is really the best idea.
If this is my life before I even start, not thanks! I'm out.
Muggles are such assholes sometimes!! I mean where is the loyalty and the appreciation? Where is the acknowledgement of good intentions and best effort? This is crap!
So this hellish week started when Steve wanted to get together and go to an art show on my day off Tuesday. Normally I'm up for it.
I don't have to go prep desserts in the morning because Tuesdays and Wednesdays are slow and Wednesdays I only have to go in for the dinner shift.
So doing stuff Tuesday and Tuesday nights are usually a good plan. Well, seeing as I am moving I kinda need to start packing.
And seeing as I will be fully re-integrating into the magical community and trying to learn a whole new job in a whole new environment I probably don't need a boyfriend that I absolutely
cannot talk to about anything that I am going through. Plus, it would be really hard to explain how I am becoming a teacher without having gone to school to be one.
Muggle schools work way differently than wizard schools when it comes to that stuff. And it isn't like I can explain that to him.
So I told him I wanted to go to brunch instead at Lula because I had stuff gong that evening. I picked Lula because he really doesn't like it. He isn't really into gourmet or fresh food.
(What the hell am I doing dating a guy who doesn't care about food. Why did I even start this? I am a chef for god's sake!! I really wonder about my thought processes sometimes.)
Plus, it's always pretty crowded so it will be a good spot to make it harder for him to make a scene, any kind of scene. I would have bet a million dollars that he was going to get emotional.
Like a sad "please don't leave me" emotional.
I don't handle confrontation well, Nor do I like hurting people. I'll be the first to admit that I'm a coward and would so much rather break up over text message or Facebook messenger.
But, I am also big on treating people with the respect and courtesy I would want, and I would be pissed as hell if someone did that to me.
So going to a place that he wasn't really fond of would make sure that I wasn't ruining one of his preferred spots, and it would give me a safety net for most kinds of emotional outbursts.
I highly doubted he would be the rage/shouting kind of break up guy. He is way to mild mannered in everything else, that just seemed so completely out of character I didn't even consider it.
Boy was I wrong.
Dude exploded on me!!
I mean we had just gotten our food, I could tell he was irritated at the choice of location and the noise level (though nothing compared to like Applebees or Cheesecake Factory).
I could also tell from the beginning that he knew something was up.
I normally have him come pick me up because I don't have a car (who needs one when you can disapparate?), but I told him I would meet him there.
I didn't think I could sit in the car and act like nothing was wrong for that long. I would be too awkward and then I would end up in a car break up, and that would be really bad.
Trapped in a metal box with an emotional ball of boy? No thanks.
So we get our food and he picks up his fork, looks at me, puts it back down, leans back and says.
"So what is it? What aren't you telling me?" Way more perceptive and way more direct that anything he has demonstrated until this point. I suddenly went from nervous awkward to nervous guilty.
I know I looked exactly like Miss Fortune does when I catch her unraveling the toilet paper or eating my plants.
My guilt and shame were all over my face, I even felt my cheeks get hot which meant I was turning bright red. I hate turning red...
I tell him that I got a job offer in New York City (not too far off, but I wanted to make it difficult for him to try and find me if he came looking later), that I am moving in two weeks,
and that I don't believe in long distance relationships (I mean seriously, give me one example where that worked with a new relationship.
Married couples are different, but a couple that has been dating a few months, give me a break.) so it had to be over.
About halfway through this little speech his arms get crossed, he starts tapping his fingers on his arm and his nostrils start flaring. I'm pretty sure I started shrinking in my chair.
When I was done he said "Really? So that's it, you aren't even going to try? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?"
Of course that last bit was a yell and the whole restaurant went dead silent and looked at us. He didn't seem to notice. "Well to hell with you then!" He screamed this at me while standing up.
Then he threw his napkin at me, HE THREW HIS NAPKIN AT ME! and yelled "To hell with you and this damn place!" And then he stormed out. Just like that.
I was so shocked I kinda just stared and watched him go.
I put my head down, stared at my plate, and just kind of tried to figure out what the hell had just happened. That was not the guy I had been dating for the last couple months. Not at all.
People finally started talking again and it helped bring me back to reality and out of my head I put his napkin back on his side of the table and picked up my fork in an attempt to feel normal.
The waiter took that as his cue that I was safe to approach.
He asked if I was ok and I told him yeah, that I had just had to break up with my boyfriend because I was moving to New York for a new job.
He seemed a little relieved that it I wasn't a sobbing ball of mush that he needed to handle.
He nodded and said it was probably for the better because long distance things never work out and the breakups are just that much worse (See!?!? Even the waiter gets it.).
Eventually I just asked for a box for both of the meals. The waiter offered to comp Steve's but I wouldn't let him.
Not gonna make him pay for the meal because I chose to break up with a guy in that restaurant. Who knew Steve had such a temper? I sure as hell didn't. He was always so laid back.
If he had shown even half that amount of passion before, maybe I would have been more willing to try the long distance thing.
So that was Tuesday. So tonight, I'm getting ready to leave the restaurant and Lacey comes over and tells me to pack my knives, that I won't be coming back. I totally did not believe her.
I have never liked Lacey, and she has never liked me. She got hired a little over a year ago as the general manager.
If she had been the manager when I was being interviewed I would not have gotten the job. She thinks she knows how to cook and what good food looks and tastes like.
Every time she attempts to prove this, I get stuck pointing out she is wrong. This happened a lot when she was trying to learn our new menu. I made her look stupid more than once.
I seriously wasn't trying to, but she was wrong and needed to know so she didn't say it to a customer. So now she thinks I undermine her and that my goal is to sabotage her.
In reality all I want is for her to either learn what she is talking about before she starts saying crap, or stick to her job. Is that really so bad?
So she tells me to pack my knives and that I won't be coming back. Then she introduces me to this guy standing behind her.
It's the French boyfriend we have all been hearing about for the last six months. According to her he has a list of credentials about as long as I am tall.
Apparently that is at least somewhat true because he is my new replacement. He wants to overhaul the dessert menu and start from scratch and the owners are letting him.
I mean this was salt on a fresh wound.
I mean not only were they firing me a week early (short paycheck is gonna suck!), but they are also letting this guy completely change everything?
I wasn't allowed to change anything!! Not one thing!! I have been at that stupid place for three years and I wasn't even allowed to run a weekly special.
What the hell is that? They are so lucky I don't carry my wand on me on a daily basis.
I seriously wanted to jinx every single piece of equipment in that place and make them go bankrupt trying to fix problems they can't even see.
Spend thousands of dollars on repair labor and parts to only have to replace everything.
That on top of losing profits of being closed because nothing could be cooked sounded like an amazing way to get back at everyone in that place.
I intended on doing it to. I was going to back to the apartment, grab my wand, then let myself into the restaurant and wreak havoc. But by the time I got home I knew better.
Part of me still wants to. But I can't risk getting caught and ruining my job opportunity at Ilvermorny.
I'm leaving this all behind and I need to realize that people have to move on too with what is best for them, even if it sucks for me. Ugg, being a grown up about this sucks.
I want to be mad and pout, but I get it.
I guess I have nothing keeping me from packing now. I've got a whole week to myself to just get ready to go.
The only person who took the news that I was leaving well was my bitchy muggle roommate. She was thrilled. We have never really clicked and she wants her boyfriend to move in.
I'm glad I don't have to worry about finding a sublet for my part of the rent. I'm not sure I could handle any more commotion at this point.
Miss Fortune is going to be thrilled that we are getting out of here. She misses all the windows and sunlight at mom's house.
The only window is cluttered with my herb pots and she really resents me for preventing her from sitting in the window. I have never understood why black cats love being in the sun.
Being black and covered in fur would make me avoid daylight like the burning plague it is.
No more avoiding it. This is really happening. Gotta pack. Gotta move. Gotta start all over. Completely over. No pressure... yeah right. I need to go make some sereniTEA or I'm not gonna sleep.