I shut my eyes and wince in pain. My back aching as I count the blows in my head. I feel blood trickling down my spine. I feel my breathing hitch. My vision goes blurry. No not now I cry.
But my body starts shivering. The summer wind feels icy. I beg God to make it stop. My mind in a state of panic, my body being tortured. I hear someone call me weak.
I hear insults no one should ever hear. I try to stop the tears. I try to be strong. Suddenly I hear the person walk away. But my head is still spinning. I can't breathe.
I break my nails clawing the ground. I want someone here. Anyone. Just hug me and tell me I mean something to you. Please.
I hug myself on the cold marble floor, knowing that no one else will be there for me. I wait for the pain to ride out. I fall asleep, dreaming of the life I could've had.
I hear voices but I keep my eyes closed. I don't want to wake up. And I lay there, till I know that they're gone for now.
Then I step out and face the world, with my lips zipped and a smile on my face so no one sees the damage done.