funny things my friend group has said 2

i am MAJORLY procrastinating right now so ENJOY :))

i had a dream that i was at the dollar tree and everything was 6 dollars

i am looking at GOD

if you ever wanna kidnap a kid, go to disney

"that kid is going places" yeah, prison!

at least i'm not built like a cafeteria lunch lady

"thanks for being late" sorry i was making a tik tok

i will one day "make out or die" yes (we were talking about both lol)

i'm afraid of dying alone and you

i'm straight i have like 5 pairs of socks on

i'm not like other girls...i have a cock

trauma is for women

would you marry the monopoly man?

i need to ask someone who's deaf and blind...oh wait they can't hear me!

it's between cheyenne and ted bundy...oh no! ted bundy!

I WANNA SEE THE TITTY FROG

now we can bond over trauma!

mother give me the titty milk

all i want in life is to twerk in the rat suit

stop trying to sell me lamps!

slut drop! right here right now! ass to the floor!

why are we having a conversation about racism? we can't just talk about shrek or something?

just because you're mad and depressed doesn't mean you can commit murder

my christian mother can suck my dick

satan's a WHORE

a movie we were watching: "the tall grass knows everything" does it know geometry?

i'm not big stupid i'm just little stupid

bananas give me bad vibes

what about a polyamourous cult now?

the three genders: men, women, and pantene

lemme know if you want more of these :)