How many times had she gone back already?
She had lost count.
She had lost count of how many times she had seen him die.
She had lost count of how many times she had rewounded time to bring him back to life.
She was stuck in an endless loop of time, willingly.
She didn't want him to die, and she didn't want to die herself.
Because that is what it all was.
She couldn't choose who would die. As long as she had that power, she would live the same 5 days again and again.
Still, there was an abyss luring her in.
The fact that she had lived all these days, so many times, made her a monster. Because she wouldn't have thoughts like these if she wasn't a monster.
She wouldn't wonder if she would kill him herself.
I mean, she could always turn back time, and it would be forgotten, forever, lost in the distant future that will never be experienced.
How about hurting him, making him suffer?
The fact that she once loved him that much to have the nerve and play with time itself, meant something right? Where was the feeling of love in her heart?
"You are suffering, aren't you?"
He had once asked her, and she had forced a laugh.
"You don't even know."
She had answer and a small sadistic smile had found its way to her lips. Her grip on the knife she had in her pocket was so strong, she felt her blood stop flowing.
But, she never used it. Her thoughts were a mess.
She had broken down crying, and cursed herself internally. How could she do this to them? To herself, even? Playing with time, huh? What a stupid girl she was.
"Time does not go easy on anyone."
She whispered, mostly for herself to hear, and then reset time. She went back to the first of the five days. She found him smiling at him.
"What is it?" He asked her, his hands in his pockets.
And that's how it all started again.
For the time traveller that never ceased to exist...